Written By: Monique Larocque
No one ever prepared me for what I would truly feel throughout my pregnancy. I always heard mothers saying by the end, you will just want your baby out. My experience has been a little different.
When I found out about the miracle growing inside me, it was one of the happiest and terrifying moments in my life. I didn’t think having my own baby would ever happen for me. And then this miracle I was given, I knew could never be taken for granted. My pregnancy began with tiredness and a lot of morning sickness, and although that part wasn’t very fun, it excited me because knowing I had morning sickness meant there was a life growing inside of me.
40 weeks sounds like a long time to be pregnant, it makes you think you have all the time in the world to prepare, to get organized. I am 36 weeks and it flew by in the blink of an eye. As excited as I am to meet this little one, a part of me says wait a little longer. Stay in there a little longer because selfishly I get to have you all to myself. I get to feel you move and kick and squirm and respond to my touch. These moments are so special and so incredible and I don’t ever want to forget what it feels like to have this sweet baby grow inside of me.
At 36 weeks I am sitting in the hospital with a rupture in my amniotic fluid, hoping baby remains safe and comes out when he is ready. I am excited, terrified, anxious and overwhelmed all at once, and yet I am persevering and telling myself that this miracle, my miracle will make their debut into this world when they are ready. To reflect on the last 9 months, I have changed. My body has changed, my emotions have changed and I have developed courage and strength that I had forgotten were in me. I feel so blessed to sit here as an expectant mother with anticipation to see what happens over the next few days and the arrival of my baby.
I had a birth plan. I had my midwives, and my doula, and a natural birthing plan. My plan has been thrown out the window, because as we know nothing ever goes perfectly planned, and I have had to come to terms with the fact that that is okay. Sometimes Baby is ready before we are, and our care changes. My advice to any new soon to be mom is keep an open mind, don’t set anything in stone. Know what aspects of labour and delivery are important to you and advocate for yourself if your support group changes.
Remember there is strength in you and we are given curve balls in life because we are capable at handling whatever life throws us. Find peace in that, find positivity and breathe.