• Flourish

Sex After Baby – When Is The Right Time?

Updated: Dec 3, 2019


Written By: Nicole Pasquino


You may be reading this and be thinking – really does sex after baby happen? It’s a question I get asked all of the time…Will I ever want to? Will it be the same? I just can’t imagine!

While it might seem like it might be easier to travel to mars, sex after having a baby is an important part of your relationship and can be valuable component of connection with your partner and yourself, and at some point you WILL want to! Sex and pleasure are a part of our overall health and wellbeing and can decrease stress and increase intimacy and connection.


There are no strict “when to” for when sex can resume after having a baby. Most health care providers recommend waiting 4 – 6 weeks in order for healing to happen, but timelines are not what’s really crucial. The most important question is are you ready to have sex? This will be different for every mom.

There are some things that will help you get back on the horse (so to speak). Start with a good lubrication, because lube really does make everything better. If you haven’t ever used lubrication a great place to start is at the drug store, pick one that is water or silicone based with the least amount of dyes and colors. Masturbate (alone or with your partner), get to know what your own body feels like after baby and this will go a long way in being able to communicate what feels good and what doesn’t.

Orgasms can help to strengthen your pelvic floor and tissue around your vagina after childbirth. Since that many women (2/3 of us in fact) do not orgasm from intercourse, consider adding a vibrator to the mix. It doesn’t have to be the full meal deal – sex is so much more than just intercourse, it can be kissing, touching, massage, start slow and work your way up to what you enjoyed before baby and take in what may feel better. We all need to trot before be gallop!

Communicate and keep expectations to a minimum, don’t be afraid to tell your partner what feels good and what doesn’t. Have a reliable birth control method available (or already on board), because being pregnant now might not be right for you.

Sex after baby is not going to be the same (some say it can be even better) so be kind to yourself and enjoy the ride.

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