Updated: Nov 2, 2019
Written By: Alanna Sanford
What’s that saying again??
“You can’t pour from an empty cup, take care of yourself first.”
I’m not sure who originally crafted that delicate statement but kudos to them. ‘Cuz it’s true.
So. Very. True.
I am the Queen of having zero time to myself. Honestly. My kids always have somewhere to go, always fighting or are just in one of those clingier than ever sort of moods. A couple usually end up in my bed by morning and I’m waking up to a fight or a foot in my ear. There is no such thing as personal space in my humble abode and my kids love to test their abilities of driving Mummy crazy. They succeed often.
I became a Mombie really, really fast and was trying to navigate ways to not turn into the fun sucker. My daily routine consisted of having zero time for myself and counting down the minute until I could put them all to bed so I could kick back with the latest murder documentary. I know y’all know what I’m talking about!
Truth is, my mental health was declining quicker than ever and everything becomes WAY more difficult when you’re burning the candle at both ends. Let’s not forget, I am the only parent to 5 kids. Yup. 5. I struggle with being “on” at all times and having minimal relief and not taking anytime to myself. The anger was real, the frustration was real and the tears were SO VERY REAL.
Something had to change, pronto.
I am the worst candidate to figure out “me time” but my health was at risk and ideally, I’d like to enjoy my children instead of telling them to be quiet for breathing too loudly. Cue Darth Vader comparison. So loud.
I was at a birthday party with my daughter’s dance team and suppose I was venting about how annoyed and exhausted I was always feeling. One mother who has 4 kids told me how she wakes up at 4am to go for her morning workout so she can blow off steam and handle mornings better. Fully thought she was crazy because 4am is a bit extreme, but she seemed to have a good grasp on life. Soooo, I bit the bullet and woke my ass up at 4:07am the following morning and hit the gym. Came home, had a hot tea, showered and was fully ready before my kids were up. And guess what? There was no yelling that morning. Success!
I then took an interest in self love and learning how to make time for myself because it truly has made a hell of a difference for me. I’m currently in pursuit to master these 5 habits to ensure I’m taking care of myself, first. Never knew how much it can help.
Waking Up Early – Thank you to Robin Sharma and the 5am Club, I have now learned to own my morning and start the day how I want. This extra time for myself is honestly a game changer. The screaming and yelling now doesn’t begin until at least 10am now 😉
Meditation – Move over Buddha, she’s coming through! Setting intentions and learning how to change my brain pathways is another big one for me. I’m an overthinker and stressor of absolutely anything and everything so meditation has been a key player for me to change the way my brain processes anything and everything.
Exercise – Okay, so it’s summer and I will fully admit that I’ve been slacking in this department and I can FEEL it in my bones. Not once have I ever ended a workout and thought to myself “I feel so much worse!” Not once. Endorphins are our friends, people!
Reconnecting With Friends – Another one I’m working on. I have felt guilty for not being with my kids and always bailed last minute on plans with friends. It’s a tough one for me because I always felt like I was doing something wrong… which is so not the case. I imagine the majority of us struggle with this and something we all need to do better in. We need to start celebrating more and I mean celebrating everything. Making it through the day is enough reason to celebrate, ha!
Moira Rose- and when all else fails, you throw an episode of Schitt’s Creek on and watch Moira Rose and her mothering ways. Any woman with a million wigs to match her outfit is my kinda woman. And a woman who doesn’t even know her child’s middle name makes me feel less guilty about calling my kid by the wrong name…. 3 times in a row.
I’m not the master of self-love yet and it’s a new journey for me but it didn’t take me long to realize how important it is and how also important it is to NOT feel the guilt. We need to stay connected to ourselves to thrive at this wild motherhood journey.
“Keep taking time for yourself until you’re you again”- Lalah Delia